It’s that time in the semester when it’s that time of year

Posted By Horizon Staff November 29th, 2012 in Capstone : 0 COMMENTS

Matthew Bennett
Counting down

It is pretty much that time of year. By that time of year I explicitly mean Christmas.

Seriously, even Sufjan Stevens just came out with a second five-disc box set to remind you that it’s Christmas time. And that guy LOVES Christmas.

But despite Sufjan’s deep love for all things filled with holiday cheer, it’s time for a reality check.

Christmas is close. Real close. You’re wondering “How close?”

How far away is the sun? Well, it’s 93 million miles, of course. How far away is Christmas. Less than 93 millions days! Shoot, it’s less than only 93 days away.

Christmas is so close that all your abroad friends are coming back to hopefully give you a fully-bearded hug. Unless your friend is a lady, in which case she will likely not be fully-bearded (so…partially?).

Christmas is so close that ABC Family is probably playing Harry Potter at least four times a week and your mom is planning on watching “White Christmas” starring Bing Crosby every Saturday until Christmas Eve.

Honestly, Christmas is so close that I completely forgot that the world is supposed to end three days before Christmas.

Christmas is so close that it’s possible to measure its proximity by the amount of times Dr. Beebe smiles per hour. It’s been estimated that Dr. Beebe smiles at least one more time per hour each day during Advent.

You know those three trees outside the DC that everyone Instagrammed to mark the beginning of fall? Well, the closer we get to Christmas, the more yellow those trees get. Rarely is it seen, but on Christmas Day, those trees are so yellow that you’d think they were made of Crayolas.

Friends! Christmas is closer right now than it’s been all year!

But here’s the truth of it all: it’s not here yet. Whenever you want to check if it’s actually here, I implore you to visit They’re quite reliable.

Visit it today and you will see that Christmas is not quite yet here. Visit it tomorrow and you will see that Christmas is not quite yet here. But soon—oh-so-soon, my friends—that gloriously simple website will declare “YES,” and so will you.

Finals? You shall not pass!

Comments are closed.

The Horizon's Facebook The Horizon's Twitter RSS Feed